If you’ve not heard of a mother’s blessing, you are in for a real treat! It’s a time for the pregnant mama to invite her close sisters to spend a quiet, cozy evening with food and prayer to carry her into her time of labor. This can be done in addition to a baby shower, but it is slighty different than a baby shower. Rather than focus on the baby’s needs, it’s a chance for the women in her life to slow down, pour out some love, wisdom and encouragement into the mama as she prepares for birth. We hosted our first one today, and it was so incredibly soul-filling. We laughed and cried together, and offered prayers for our sister in Christ!

I haven’t heard of a mother’s blessing until recently. A dear friend of mine shared a document she put together of a small prayer service she called “Orthodox Mother’s Blessing”. Seeing it written out ignited in me the motivation to host a mother’s blessing for the women who are expecting in our parish! It really was the missing puzzle piece I was waiting for in order to move forward. And she’s given me her blessing to share it with you! You can download it HERE. Then shortly after seeing this mother’s blessing, a friend of mine shared another blogpost of a mutual friend giving more practical ways to host a mother’s blessing (or as it’s sometimes called “blessingway”). It was as if the Theotokos was gently guiding me to these ideas so we could bring it to fruition. You can read the blogpost 6 Steps to Creating a Christian Blessingway from Khouria Cathryn Barker of Sanctified Womb HERE.

Excerpt from Khouria Cathryn’s blogpost:

Creating a Christian Mothers Celebration

Essentially, instead of throwing a baby shower for the mother and only celebrating the baby, you celebrate the mother. Mother’s Blessings are a time to come together and honor the Creator's plan. 

You honor the new mother’s transformation from maiden to mother and uplift her in her new role. This gathering can be filled with prayer, encouragement, nourishment, and service. They are usually toward the end of pregnancy when the mother needs more encouragement to make it to the birth. 

Throughout the bible and most of history, women gather together to celebrate and welcome the new life. A Mother’s Blessing is an opportunity to wash one another's feet and meet the needs of someone we love.

When creating an environment filled with the peace of God, there are a few elements that are important. Prayer, peace, intention, and the people gathered all contribute to how the environment feels. Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also” Mathew 18:19, so if we create a space that welcomes Jesus Christ and his holy saints we can honor His plan and providence while loving on the new mother. 

If you’d like more information, read more in her blogpost 6 Steps to Creating a Christian Blessingway from Khouria Cathryn Barker of Sanctified Womb HERE.

DIY Votive Candles with the icon of the Helper in Childbirth on them

How to Organize a Mother’s Blessing

I'm hoping to establish “mother’s blessings” as a tradition in our community for the women who are expecting. We have a healthy parish with many growing families, so I know this will be a blessing going forward for the women in our parish, specifically for our growing sisterhood! As I have chatted with the women in our parish, we hope to begin to do this seasonally, capturing the “fall babies”, “winter babies” etc, combining these celebrations as to not overwhelm the community with countless celebrations, and also to make sure all women are cherished and celebrated. Afterall, it is our Lady, the Most Holy Theotokos, who we look to as our example of the holiness of motherhood!

Where to begin:

Set a date that is convenient for the mom-to-be and for those who will attend. As our community is growing, we plan to combine the few pregnant ladies we have to celebrate together for each season. Ideally this is a quiet cozy evening for the ladies, however, that is not always convenient. For example, since it was during Dormition, and there are services every night, we opted to do it on a Saturday morning. We also thought that Saturday morning might be helpful so the Dads could watch the kids, but naturally so in a community, not everyone has that option, so we had a few kids attend and play outside so the women could have some quiet in the house. So decide kids or no kids, and make a plan for childcare for the kids who will need to come. You can use this FREE template I created on Canva or create your own!

Divide up the tasks:

Once the invites go out, feel free to ask people bring a dish to share. As someone who hosts often, don’t feel shy asking someone to bring something. People love to help, but sometimes they don’t know what to do. So asking them is a blessing to them and an opportunity for them to serve as well. At least that’s what my sweet Grandma used to always say! She would say “Of course you can do it all by yourself, but why? It’s a blessing to allow others to serve!” I find that asking to bring something specific is helpful, i.e. “Can you bring some fruit?” Or “Would you mind bringing a lenten salad?” Always allow for a way out so no one feels obligated, but this is something I have had to really humble myself about. I can’t do it all, nor do I try to pretend I do. As a sisterhood, we can all share the load and that way it doesn’t become too burdensome to the one who is hosting.

Mother’s Blessing Activities:

As with all things in the Orthodox Church, we should first begin with prayer. Make sure there is an icon, and maybe a lit candle in a prominent place so everyone can gather around to pray. You can even light some incense as well. In our case, we prayed to bless the food and began eating and mingling. After everyone got their food and drinks, we started around the room sharing words of wisdom and encouragement (see activity suggestions below). After that, we stood around the icons in the center of the room and prayed the “Mother’s Blessing” which is a document put together by my friend, Sara Plew, who graciously gave me permission to share it with you!

Decide on a few meaningful activities for the event

Ideally you’ll need 45 mins to 1 hour of focus for this time. The sky is the limit with this! I’ll share some ideas but feel free to come up with your own ideas:

Prayer Bead Wisdom:

We had a bowl of various beads and asked each woman choose two beads, and then we went around the room and shared something encouraging to the mom and shared about a godly woman in their life who has impacted them. These beads will be then strung onto a bracelet and given to the mama to take home.

Prayer Candle:

We had a plain medium sized white candle and several colored taper candles available. The women took turns, lighting one colored candle and dropped the melting wax on the white one while making a silent prayer for the mother. I displayed the prayer for a woman in labor by Emilia’s Post so they can use that if they chose to. The now colorful candle is for the mom to take home and use during labor, a reminder of all the prayers spoken for her by her sisters in Christ.

Take Home Votive Candle:

We had votives with icons on them (mod podge!) for the women to take home to light and pray for the mama during labor.

Create Birth Affirmations:

Using the Scriptures of special quotes, you can come up with some birth affirmations for the mama, and even decorate them with watercolor pens.

Pedicures for the Mama:

One thing that is very challenging for the mama to be is for her to touch her toes! How sweet would it be to give her a pedicure and paint her toes so she is pampered and ready to go!

Flower Crown:

*There is a portion of the Mother’s Blessing prayers which calls for “crowning” the mother with a flower crown. This is a sweet way to honor her. So something to consider having is a flower crown available for the mama. During the Mother’s Blessing, there is a portion to add a flower crown to the mother as the sisterhood gather around her and bless her. This can be purchased online or created together and given to the mother to take home.

Nesting:

From the blogpost 6 Steps to Creating a Christian Blessingway from Khouria Cathryn Barker of Sanctified Womb: This step is totally dependent on what the mother wants done. If the mother’s blessing is hosted at her home and she wants help deep cleaning the fridge and top of cupboards, this can be a great opportunity to help her nest. I have had a different nesting need through my four pregnancies. During my fourth pregnancy I had the strongest desire to clean my carpets. It was such a wild instinct but I wasn’t able to accomplish it on my own because of how uncomfortable I was. It didn’t happen before Joanna was born, but I wish that I had had a group of ladies to support me in my nesting instinct. And I know it sounds silly! Who needs clean carpets before the baby is born? No one. But hormones do some funny things. Help the mama by getting a few things checked off her list! This can be discussed ahead of time!

Gifts or No Gifts?

Instead of a baby shower, the focus on the Mother’s Blessing is to care for the mama. This part is totally optional. In our case, each woman brought items to pamper the mom-to-be. In the blog mentioned above, Khouria Cathryn shares ideas of how we can bring or prep freezer meals for the mother. I love that idea too! Think of items she might enjoy just before giving birth or during her postpartum season. We brought unwrapped items and put them toegther into a basket to send her home with. Here are some of the items that were brought:

• Soft cozy pjs

• Tea

• Cozy candles

• Chocolates

• Postpartum Snacks

• Face masks

Meal Train:

Consider setting up a meal train! One of the most incredible blessings to me as a mother of a new baby was our community feeding us and literally sustaining us through those early days with a newborn. If you don’t already have this established in your community, start one! You can gather everyone’s emails at the Mother’s Blessing and have one person as a point of contact to send out the meal train when the time comes! You can check out this blogpost on how to create a meal train:

In everything we do, it is my hope that it points us back to Christ. Christ is the one whom all blessing flows, our very life source, and certainly the one who blesses us in our marriages with children. As we recognize this, let us sanctify even the end of pregnancy and bless the women in our lives with encouragement, prayers and strength!

Your sister in Christ,

Khouria Destinie

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