The First 40 Days : Postpartum and Churching
In the Tradition of the Orthodox Church, when a baby is born, prayers are done at the following times: On the day of Birth; On the 8th day (Naming Prayers); On the 40th day (Churching), and their baptism. I love that the Church so tenderly cares for each child - they are prayed for, cherished, embraced and are full participants in the Christian life from birth!
In this blog post, you’ll find information about the Churching (40 day blessing), including a few scenes from my recent churching, book recommendation for postpartum, and my own personal reflection as a mother to 4 children.
Churching
During a churching, the priest prays for the mother and child and presents the child to the Lord by walking him (or her) behind the altar. During this time, the people sing the hymn of St Symeon (direct quote from Luke 2) 🙏📿
If you’re not familiar with a churching, after 40 days the mother and newborn children receive a special blessing, like our Lord did in Luke 2:22-24. If you remember Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to be presented at the Temple after 40 days, according to Levitical Law. The Holy Spirit reveals to St Simeon, who was at the temple, that he would not see death before he had seen the Christ.
You’ll notice a theme around here: whatever Jesus does, we do too, as he has modeled for us how we ought to live 🥰
I’m so thankful the Church recognizes this special season for mothers and babies to be home to heal and bond. I’ll be sharing more with you as we progress through each of these milestones that the church has set aside for us!
Here are some photos from our 40 Day Churching of my 4th child, William:
40 Day Churching Video
The video below is a recap of mine and my son’s 40 day Churching (blessing) originally posted on Instagram:
Postpartum Book Recommendations:
A Sacred Beginning: Nurturing Your Body, Mind, and Soul during Baby's First Forty Days by Sarah Brangwynne & Sasha Rose Oxnard
This was my first time reading this particular book, although it’s been around for several years. It is separated into 40 short chapters so you can easily read one chapter per day during the first 40 days. I appreciated that it offered an easy attainable structure to my days to read one chapter each day. Each chapter offers a relevant reflection that is timely to our experiences, both with a new baby and with the traditions set forth in the Orthodox Church. For example, on day 8 (or chapter 8). the chapter is about the 8 day naming prayers, and day 40 is all about…. you guess it! The 40 day churching! It is a practical book that answers the questions that may arise and it offers solace and comfort for those of us in those sacred and exhausting first weeks as a mother with a new baby. It is written by two Orthodox moms, one who is a therapist and one who is a family doctor practicing prenatal care and pediactrics. Their shared experience was so comforting and helpful to read, as they take turns offering their own reflections and perspective. I’d recommend this book to anyone who is expecting a child! And when you’re done, you can give it to the next mother in your community who is expecting!
Although not specifically a postpartum book, I love to read this book in small chunks after having a new baby. As a postpartum mom, my hormones are on overdrive! These short reflections from Elder Thaddeus are like a balm to a weary soul when our anxieties and negative thoughts begin to make their way into our mind. I find these simple truths to be so helpful in dealing with those intrusive thoughts.
“ This is how we must live – controlling our thoughts. It is not good to dwell on every thought that comes to us; otherwise we lose our peace. If we learn to refuse such proposals, we are quiet. We do not fantasize or create any images in our mind.”
Again, this is not specifically a postpartum book, but I find all of the Spiritual Counsel series (there are 6 volumes) to be supremely helpful and edifying. This volume in particular is a helpful resource for family life, as St Paisios shares advice for the family. I love to read just a few pages each day, and keep it on my bedside table for a brief read while nursing.
Personal Reflection:
This 40 day period was unique for me. This is my 4th child, so I knew from experience that I needed to take things slowly and ease back into my normal tasks. This was going to take some intentional effort and support as there are other small children in the home who need tending to. This was also my first home birth (all the previous births were at the hospital), so there were many aspects to this birth/postpartum period that were different. One of the greatest aspects was I didn’t need to leave the house! I was able to give birth, stay in bed, and didn’t have anywhere to go! Even the follow up newborn checks were done in my home, as my midwife traveled to my house for those appointments.
My mother-in-law, mother, and grandmother all took shifts during the 40 day period to be there for our family and support us through the first 40 days. We also had a meal train through our parish that fed us for 45 day!!!! An incredible gift I am so thankful for! If you’re unfamiliar with a meal train, check out this blogpost. This allowed me to truly REST. For the first 3 weeks, I barely lifted a finger. I can see a huge difference in the healing and mood stability I experienced during the first 40 days compared to the previous postpartum periods.
As a Khouria (title given to a Priest Wife), I knew I needed the full 40 days before I returned to church. This is not a hard and fast “rule,” so these things can be discussed with your Priest when the time comes for you. But personally I needed that 40 day period to rest before returning to the services with my 4 children. In the meantime, I was able to send my big kids to the services with gracious parishioners who would pick them up and take them home. An incredible blessing! Since my husband is a priest, he wasn’t able to watch them during the services, so we needed the extra support. While the “bigs” were away, it was such a needed time for prayer, contemplation, and even a glorious nap time in a quiet house!
The postpartum period lasts for 2 years, so it is not as if I am “done” with this season quite yet, but we are finding a new groove as a family of 6 and my heart is bursting at the seems seeing my beautiful family together. Glory to God for all things!
May the Lord bless you and your efforts in raising Godly men and women for Christ!
-Khouria Destinie
You may also enjoy:
I love Theology and all things Orthodox, but in this season of life I need simplicity. A little nugget to take and slowly digest. I try to carve out a few minutes a day to read, so sometimes I get one or two pages in. I also recently subscribed to Audible and I have enjoyed listening to books while doing chores, or nursing my little one - and I have found that I am actually able to “read” a lot more through that method. So I will share my booklist on Audible as well! Below you will find my current reading list and a brief commentary on my thoughts so far!